The Illusion of the Super Hot Guitarist

       Don't play guitar. I know, it's a classic, but I encourage you to break the mold. Believe it or not, not every girl swoons over a hunky guitarist's serenade. I'm not saying I wouldn't fall for it. I'm just saying it's been done before. If you really want to impress a member of the opposite sex with your musical talent, I suggest you go beyond the basics and try a new approach.

       You know what instrument is really sexy? A kazoo. The sweet, melodic buzz of a finely crafted plastic kazoo is sure to lure in the ladies. Of course, kazoos are really more effective on men. They jerk their heads at the sound of it. It's like in The Little Mermaid when Prince Eric hears Ariel sing and goes searching for the girl behind the voice. I guarantee, one stroll down the hall buzzing on the kazoo and you'll be an instant babe in the eyes of anyone who hears.

       On the other hand, the cowbell is a sure fire way to pull women. Us girls can't resist the well punctuated and perfectly timed clank of the cowbell. Hearing it is like suddenly realizing a person has really beautiful eyes. The cowbell is not as effective on men. I can testify to that. Last weekend I went to the mall and walked around the food court playing the cowbell, hoping to attract a mate. But, alas, the only male that approached me was the mall's security guard, and I can assure you, he was NOT my type.

       Going with the accordion is a risky move. When it works, it works, but if the performance is not executed properly, you could find yourself living alone for the rest of your life. No one, and I mean NO ONE, ever recovers from the humiliation of one's accordion performance being rejected. If you're into the rebellious type, you need look no further than the community of accordionists near you.

       In all seriousness though, getting a girlfriend or boyfriend is not the right reason to play an instrument. Play because it's something you love. Play with passion, play with joy, play with, sadness; play with every piece of you. That's what makes a guitarist so seemingly attractive. The simple act of playing guitar is not swoon worthy, but the act of being totally engrossed in something you love, is.