The Life of a Disney Princess

This is a piece that I wrote as a freshman, but with the rising popularity of the #20BeautifulWomen campaign, I thought it would be good to post, along with some shots I've taken of real live princesses in the wild.

If it were at all possible for me to drop out of school and become a Disney princess, I would. I don’t mean putting on a pretty dress and three inches of makeup to stand in the hot sun for hours a day taking pictures with sweaty children at some theme park for minimum wage. No. I am talking about a glass slipper, seven dwarfs, talking tea pots, fairy godmother, magic carpet sort of deal. Because, honestly, how is a princess expected to settle for anything less?

       When considering whether or not “Full time Disney Princess” is a suitable occupation for you, it is important to keep in mind the requirements to fill such a position. After spending years of my childhood watching the Disney princesses, I would consider myself some sort of an expert, and have been able to piece together a list of qualities nearly every princess should have.

       The first of these would be the ability to sing. This, is a make or break type of deal. Never have I ever heard of a Disney Princess that couldn’t sing, and if there ever was, I’m pretty sure they confiscated her tiara. To be a princess, not only do you have to be able to sing, but you have to sing pretty much all the time. You sing about your prince coming, you sing about bringing honor to your family, you sing about your life under the sea; quite honestly, you could sing about making some bagels and it wouldn’t matter, as long as you were singing. But it doesn’t stop there. Not only do you have to be able to sing, and sing every waking hour of the day, but you have to be able to harmonize with whatever is closest. At any given moment, you have to be prepared for your toaster to start singing along with you when you’re making your bagels. When you’re a princess, that stuff just happens, and you’ve got to be prepared to role with it. If you’re singing in the park, you’ve got to be down for a duet with a squirrel, because that’s just how Disney operates.

       Another crucial quality every Disney princess must have is natural beauty. To be a princess, you have to look perfect all the time, with no makeup. The other part of the natural beauty princesses possess is the hair. Quite honestly, I’m surprised no one has tried to shear the Disney princesses like sheep, because their hair is thick as heck. Not only is it thick, but it’s soft and shiny and looks good at any given moment of the day. If you can roll out of bed at 4am looking fabulous, there is a 95% chance you are a Disney Princess. So basically, to be a Disney princess, you have to look perfect, literally all the time. I can’t speak for the entire female population, but for me, it’s exhausting enough to merely exist some days, let alone have my looks live up to Disney standards. Maybe that’s why all the princesses are so skinny too! I imagine being that beautiful burns a lot of calories.

       The third, and possibly the most important characteristic that makes up a Disney princess, is the ability to basically turn animals into their own personal slaves. That whole being beautiful thing is quite strenuous, and sometimes a girl needs a few furry friends to help keep things running smoothly. Nearly every princess has some sort of animal companion to help them out in times of trouble. This particular trait may or may not be a result of a princess’ inability to make actual friends, but when you’re a princess, all you really need is some sort of heart beat to keep you company until your prince comes. The standards for companionship are not very high among Disney princesses.

       Now, I can sing in the shower, I brush my hair every day and my pet guinea pig will let me pick him up sometimes, so I’m basically a Disney princess already. But, for one to truly become a Disney princess, they must first know "the struggle".

       For every Disney princess, there in an equal and opposite evil step mother. In any story worth tolerating, there is always some sort of “struggle”. The princess is locked away in a tower, or she must “defeat the huns”, or maybe she pricks her finger and spends the next hundred years unconscious, but every princess is presented with some sort of obstacle she must overcome. This struggle, for most princesses, however, comes with a prince waiting at the finish line.

       These princes usually tend to be handsome, heroic, and perfect in nearly every single way, whereas most boys in high school tend to be…not that. But, honestly, that’s really a lot to expect from a teenage boy, considering nobody sets such unachievable expectations for teenage girls these days. But anyways, princes are defiantly another perk of becoming a princess.

       Between the princes, and the tiaras and the animal servants, “Full time Disney Princess” may be a hard job to turn down. Even factoring in a year or two imprisoned by your evil step mother, it still seems like a pretty sweet gig. So why would anyone turn down such an opportunity?

       Trick question. 

       No girl would turn down the opportunity, because every girl is a princess already. We may not be the Disney type, but every girl has a bit of magic inside them. Maybe we can’t sing, but we surely have talents that make us special. We may not be pretty, but we are always beautiful. We may not have an animal companion, or evil step mother, but we certainly have people that make life wonderful, and people that make life difficult. We may not all be Disney Princess material, but we all do have a bit of princess inside of us. The qualities that make up a Disney princess, and the realities of such a life style, are the same elements that make up life as a teenage girl. So live out every day like a princess, because it most certainly is a full time job.

What Does Music Look Like? Yes.

       Just now, I thought to myself: What does music look like?

So, like any other teenage life form, I googled it. I clicked images. This is what I saw.

       

here, here, and here

    Then, I got to thinking about this scene in the movie, “Ratatouille”, where the rat is describing different tastes, and as he does it, all these different colored swirly things start spinning around on the screen, and how that is much more representative of what a non visible thing looks like. 

       Of course, music isn't supposed to look like anything, but in a lot of ways, it does. It can look like a piece of sheet music. It can look like the pictures above. It can look like explosions of color, like in the video. It can look like picture book telling a story. It can look like what it actually is; an orchestra, a jazz band, a wedding singer. It draw on a memory, and look like the past. It can draw on your inner thoughts and look like a dream. Music can look however you hear it.

       As a musician though, I've come to the conclusion that music just looks like sheet music, or a violin, or a concert hall. To me, it's nothing abstract, because to me, that's not the stuff that matters.

       Music is composed of two things: sound and emotion. When it comes down to it, people care how it sounds, and how it makes them feel. No matter how extravagant your stage design, or how skilled your backup dancers are, or how many fireworks you set off in the back ground, people will still criticize you if it doesn't sound good. And while they may not criticize the emotional component (most people aren't even aware that that is such a large part of music) they will know it's off.

       There is a reason we put music in movies, and commercials, and elevators. It sounds good, and it influences people in a way that they are unaware of. It doesn't matter what it looks like.

       So, to answer the question that I asked myself, yes.

       What does music look like?

       Yes.

       A vague answer to a vague question. A non relevant answer to a non relevant question. So it goes.

Like a Girl

       The showing of Always' “Like a Girl” ad during the Super Bowl put the word “feminism” on the various timelines and feeds of Americans, but further, it put it in our minds. The ad forced a lot of people to ask themselves what feminism really is, and I think Always did a good job of helping viewers paint that picture for themselves.

       The word feminism first came into existence in the early 20^th century. Originally, it meant a women's “freedom for full personal development”. At a women's suffrage rally in 1914, Marie Jenny Howe said, “We intend simply to be ourselves, not just our little female selves, but our whole big human selves.” As I watched the “Like a Girl” ad, and as I read about women's suffrage in my AP US History textbook, I started to piece together my own definition of feminism.

       Feminism is not simply lobbying for your rights as a woman. It is not just tweeting hate towards so called “meninists” (even though they are, admittedly, completely awful ideologically). Feminism is not only being a bad ass bitch and expecting the world to respect that. It is not merely spewing statistics about rape and sexual harassment.

       While these are all parts of feminism, it doesn't stop there. Sure, people need to be aware, and other women need to be encouraged, but I think the key to achieving anything in this “fight” is to act like we've already won.

       To me, feminism truly is the “freedom for full personal development”. It is being smart, and beautiful, and passionate, and driven. To me, it means being capable. It's knowing that if you can't do something, you have the power to learn, or you have the power to try, and fail, and try again. It is setting goals. It is taking advantage of opportunities. It is being the type of woman you're proud of, and knowing that you have the power to become that person.

       The “Like a Girl” ad promotes that same ideal. It empowers us to be like that handful of nine year old girls, because as far as feminism goes, I think they have its foundation figured out. When it comes to the specific, heated issues, women know how to handle them “like a girl”, and feminism exists as a platform to inspire us to do so.

       To be a feminist, is to know that you are capable, despite what the world tells you. To be a feminist, is to live out each day “Like a Girl”.